Quiet

It's Saturday morning and I'm up alone. Thinking about God, comfort, and trials. Yesterday felt like a better day. I kept thinking about Mike and I, and our story. How we came to be us. And God brought me so much peace through that. I'll have to write a post on it sometime, but I was engaged to someone else before Mike. It didn't work. I thought it was so devastating, my life felt broken.
I've often referred to that time in my life as one of the best because of how close I was to God. He was the only one I needed, and I relied on him through those terribly lonely days. I can't imagine looking back on losing our baby and saying that same thing, but it's kind of the prayer of my heart. Just that God would draw so near to me.
It's really hard for me talk, physically, about all that's happened. I've been writing every spare minute I have and yesterday I was writing about the thing that brings me the greatest comfort. It's when I feel so alone, I beg God to let me just feel Him holding me in the palm of His hand. That's how I've been falling asleep, with tears too of course, just praying that over and over.

This was Mike, Eden and I just a week ago. We were going to a halloween/murder mystery party at some friends house. The picture makes me smile, and little things like that are what I need.