today is mother's day.
i think i thought about it more this year than in other years gone by.
perhaps it's because the mess in this house is just atrocious.
and i'm not exaggerating.
i was picking up rocks in the house,
not gravel, not sand, full size rocks.
i cleaned off the table last night that hasn't been cleaned since wednesday,
and i can't even get to my hoard of a laundry pile without stepping on ten dress up outfits and four trucks. it's pretty bad.
but i get to do it.
i get to be a mom.
i think i thought about it more this week because it's almost the one year birthday of our baby.
the one we didn't get to hold.
the one i didn't get to spoil, and cuddle, and dote on.
and it makes me think about all the other hurting hearts out there.
the ones whose stories didn't end up how mine did.
the ones who have that ache in their heart and empty hands.
even though i don't think my house has ever been a bigger mess,
i'm glad.
i get to be a mom, and i get to have this mess,
and i get to have my arms full of a chubby little boy,
and very close by there's a little girls who always loves to be touching,
and a three year old who's testing my patience.
my story isn't over, but it's come out so happy.
my ache in my heart is still there, but my arms are full.
praying for all those who are aching today, for those who are desperate to be mamas.
