I think I may be the worst blog writer ever. Every time I think of coming back to this space though, I feel as though I need to write some sort of excuse. And that, actually keeps me from it. No more excuses, just great big gaps of time because this mama is busy and tired.
*
I think what I love the most about reading blogs is the characters and the stories. So often, I want to look back on here and see the ups and downs just to feel like life is normal to go like that. It is. Being 21 weeks pregnant right now, I'm so wishing I had documented pregnancy with this little monkey.
He's such a joy. Seriously, he's the most dependent child we've had yet, but I love it. I think when we went through miscarriage and all that yucky fertility stuff, it changed my heart and my brain forever. I think God made me a little more patient for the time being. A little more attached as a mom and a little more intentional. I think the longing changed my brain. Please don't get me wrong, we have super hard days where I had this one over to Mike the minute he walks in the door from work.
And my sweet girl. She can push buttons I never knew I had. She talks about her birthday every day. Seriously. EVERY. DAY. And her favorite stuffed animal. I feel so guilty when she does because I'm anti-stuffed animals. Space, dirt, stuffed animals, it's just not a good combo.
And Micah. Taunting, teasing, Micah. He has a sweet heart but he loves to tease his little brother into oblivion. So, yeah, we have hard days.
But we also have some really good ones.
I think the past two days, Eden and Micah have both said to me that "this is the best day of my life". I love that, and want to feel that and believe that every day too.
I still get impatient, and sometimes I'm rude to my kids, but I think I have the frailty of life in the front of my brain and not the back. I remember when I was pregnant with Ezra, I would constantly tell myself that I'd celebrate when I held him in my arms. I feel like I have ever since. It's all so short, and not to be taken for granted, this beautiful life.
