tons of beautiful: June 2012

Sisters

Since a very long time ago, I promised myself to never write when I was sad and down. I felt like emotions are passing and fleeting and I don't want to be known for a passionately down moment.

I know I've since broken that rule. Realizing that life is made up of positives and negatives, and when they're all combined, it can be very beautiful.

With that, I write with a bit of sadness and heavy heart.

Last week, we packed up and drove to Three Lakes, Wisconsin to visit my sister, her husband and four kids. I thought that my heart was prepared, knowing that they're moving far away, for the emotions that would stir.

It hit me hard though, our first night there. Tears just rolled.

My sister and her family moving so far.

It was hard for me to watch the kids play together at times, not knowing when the next time would be.

Of course, as sisters, we still snickered at the naughtiness and told each other stories of appalling things that our kids do and say.

In my mind I thought so much about our own childhood. All the time we spent playing together and as we got older the time we spend hanging out together.
I don't think that their is any way to put into words what my sister means to me.
We ebb and flow in our relationship as most friends do, but she will always be my sister. That connection is so binding.

We inspire each other in different ways, make business plans that we'll never fulfill, and talk style, children, and anything that comes to mind.
The long drive currently has distanced us currently, but there won't be any more phone calls like "wanna meet halfway at mom and dad's this weekend".
That's the part that gets me.

My nieces and nephews are so young, they change so fast. What if I miss it?
What if my kids are too young to have the memories of their cousins?

We'll make new ones, I know. The when factor is what's a question mark.
I cherish that family though.
Kinda like you wouldn't believe.
Which is why it makes sense why my heart hurts so much.

I love you like crazy Lindsay.
Can't tell you enough how much I'll miss you.

Dream big

Yesterday, Eden and I were talking about a friend who lives out in Virginia. I explained that it was far away and we kept talking and I told her I went to college out in Virginia.
She wanted me to explain college and then we quickly got to talking careers.
I've asked her from time to time, what do you want to do or be when you grow up?
A few months ago, her response: "I want to be the person at the zoo who sweeps up goat poop."
And yesterday, her response: "A big, big girl. Or a rabbit."
If you could see me now, you'd see me smiling.
Dream big, Eden, dream big.

Why summer is my new favorite

Fall used to win my heart.

Every year.

Smitten with it.

Now it's summer, my favorite.

I feel like sometimes I bounce out of bed (or limp), because the birds woke me and the sun is beckoning me.

Mike and I went paddle boarding this past weekend.

If summer weren't my favorite, that sport sure would be.

I remember when Mike and I used to canoe all the time.

Well, he'd canoe, I'd sit and relax.

This reminds me so much of that except for the sitting factor.

Love it, everyone should try it.

We went on the one day of the month that it rained, go figure.

We sat in the car with the rain pounding the roof.

It reminded me of when we were dating.

Scanning for a good song on the radio, trying to find the weather, teasing each other, we had fun.

My kids are loving summer too.

For them it's popsicles outside that are so good it's running down their chest and arms.

It's also late night neighbor parties where they stay up soooo late, I can't believe I allow it.

It means eating outside and grabbing a bite in between playing this and playing that.

We've been through a lot as a family this year.

More perhaps than I'd ever imagined.

It keeps me thinking, and definitely thanking God

It also makes me wonder:

Am I just more thankful and grateful or is summer just my new favorite?

Our new favorite

The kids and I have a new favorite thing: the beach.

The kids have inherited my desperation for water when the temp is hot and the air is humid.

Being the first summer we don't have access to a pool, the beach it is, and it's my favorite... actually, our favorite.

In the past week, we've been there three times. Not all the same beach, no matter, but tomorrow we'll make that four. I think that those have also been our favorite days of the week.

There's sand everywhere. On the floor, in our shoes, in the carseats, you name it--there's probably sand on it. Ha! But like I told the kids, those are just a few reminders of our favorite memories. Sand castles, little swim dips, scouring for little snails and fancy rocks, and snacks never tasted so good when sitting on a dry towel with our wet toes in the hot sand.