A letter on change

Dear Eden and Micah,

I wrote on my post on Mother's Day about how life is different. Your memories from these early years may be few and far between but I want you to know how it's different. I want you to know how my heart is changed after all we've been through in the past year.

When I was in college for journalism, my professors always used to say, "show, don't tell", and that's what I want to show you. Change.

 A tiny bit over a month ago, Daddy's friend Reza came to visit and stay with us for a very short time. It was hands down one of the highlights of our year. We got to stay up late, chat, and had some laughs over silly things. But see, I think a year ago, I wouldn't have loved the opportunity. I think that I may have been too caught up in myself, my goals, my agenda. None of those things matter, our life is about loving God and loving people. And this was such a beautiful chance that we got to have Reza.

 We went to Madison for a little visit and packed lunches. We did most of what we planned, the farmers market, State Street, the gardens that I can't remember the name of... But I think the most rewarding part was handing out all the food that we brought for our lunch to the homeless. Eden, you were a little timid, and that's okay, I know what you're feeling. But the blessing from giving them food and them just smiling or saying "thank you" is phenomenal and out of this world.

 Another thing that's changed lately is grace. My grace, between you both. I find myself relying on God for patience when either of you test me and your response is incredible. When one of you wrongs the other, I've been having you apologize to the other and then say something kind. When all of that is said and done, you're usually both hugging and telling each other how much you love each other. It doesn't always play out like that, but a lot of times it does, and my heart just swells with joy.

 I think as a family, our goal in life is different. It's about people, loving people. That's really hard for me sometimes, as I don't consider myself a people person. I like to be alone, and think, and get things crossed off my list. But that list doesn't matter, people do.

 This is a silly picture but it's the only one I have to remember the day. I signed up at our church to be a guide for the Touched Twice clinic. It's a service to people in the community to give them medical, dental, and social help and if they want, spiritual help as well. So, I signed up to be a guide, me, a not-what-I-would-consider-people-person. And I got a family, with kids. I will never forget those kids as long as I live. It wasn't the most fun day of my life, and I had anxiety before it all began, I was so scared. But I helped someone, and though it wasn't like it was handing the food out to the homeless people, I knew I was being a help. See, I don't think that every time we serve we should expect our hearts to be filled, I don't think it's like that. Sometimes serving isn't pretty, but that's the whole idea.
It's humbling, and so healthy to put ourselves aside for a change and focus on others.

 Eden and Micah, I want me and daddy to be an example for you. I don't care if our lives are glamorous and glitzy, I'd take humble and serving any day over that. I'm so thankful for where God has grown us in this area, and it's the prayer of my heart that God will lead you the same way.
Love you more than life,
Mommy