Dear Eden, on your birthday

I wrote this the night before Eden turned four, now almost two weeks ago, but never posted it.

Also, still need four people to comment on the giveaway to get a free bracelet. They were on my etsy people! It's sort of embarrassing that I only have one comment. Oh well, on to Eden:

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Dear Eden,

Tonight is your last night being three. I lost it at dinner tonight, I get sentimental about my babies growing up. You were quickly at my side telling me "It's only four mommy, four isn't that old." But still. I love everything about you and sometimes I'd take those three year old tantrums forever if it meant you didn't have to grow up.

 But I do believe that an independent child is a happy one, and I think that's a big part of your joy. Could you just never grow up in certain areas? Like would you still pick cuddling over anything for a long time? or just lately how you want me to keep brushing your hair? how 'bout when I'm impatient and raise my voice and you tell me to just pray with you? or your need to be close and know where I am at all times drives me insane at some points in the day, but I love it. So please, don't change at least those few things.

 I remember Eden, when we were 20 weeks pregnant with you. We were going to the ultrasound to find out more about you and I was so sure you were a boy. My heart was set on it and it took me a little bit to reel those thoughts of you back in and rewrite them with a girl in mind. But let me tell you, you as my daughter has brought me so much joy. I love our little mommy-daughter times and the things that you love to do. When I tell you that you can pick anything in the world to do, it's something so sweet and simple like make cookies or do an art project. I love that, because I have so many beautiful memories of those times with you.

 Lately, I feel like you've grown immensely. Your maturity is shocking actually. The way that you and Micah play together and how I watch you care for him and love him is wondrous. It seems like one of you always ends up getting hurt, but when it's Micah, you usually cry right along with him. You've gone from running away to running to him to care for him. It wasn't long ago that you'd run upstairs and shut the door to your room, now you run to him and just smother him with hugs and tell him that you're sorry or that it was an accident. You've changed a lot in that regard.

 You're so creative too. You make up the sillies things and end up playing for so long. I used to worry about how you couldn't keep yourself busy and you constantly needed help engaging. You're not like that anymore. You still love people more than anything, but you can create fun from nothing. Like today, you and Micah were outside and I was putting away groceries. I couldn't help myself but to sit and just watch you out the window. You and Micah were being a little naughty, emptying out the bird feeders, but I couldn't stop you. You were having such a blast when you started digging up holes with my little garden shovel and burying the bird seed you'd taken out of the feeder. You told me later that you were planting trees.

 Eden, you are such a gift. And where as I used to treasure more than anything my time alone, I find that I really treasure moments teaching you. I say I teach you, but really, you've taught me more in your nearly four years of life than almost anyone. Your love for Jesus is what always gets me, and that not only teaches me, but shows me that you're an example to me.

Eden, I love you more than you'll ever know. These past four years have been wonderful, they've been hard, but more than anything else have been so rich. I'm so proud of you.
Love,
Mommy