Submission and a strong will

Believe it or not, this is not about either of my kids. It's me. I'm embarrassed at the fact that I'm strong willed to the point of disobedience and what some would consider reckless thinking. That's me.
I wish I had some cute pictures to go along with this post, but I don't. My heart's been hurting, or should I say surrendering. Surrendering to submission against a strong willed head.

This surgery has been nothing that I expected. It's hard. Really hard.
I thought the pain would be subsiding, the doctor would be kind, I thought my kids would obey, and Mike would say all the right things at the right times. I thought I'd be driving and getting on with life, seeing friends, and taking fun day trips with the kids. None of those things are true.

Realizing the false reality that has been built up in my head isn't hard, but accepting that it's not anyone but me is what's hard. My reality needs a lesson in submission.
I may have to go through more pain than I thought would be necessary and I may hear harsh things from the doctor. My kids are kids, being kids, and my husband may not say the perfect things at every moment. But lowering my expectations goes against my will, and it's strong. The expectations that somehow things revolve around me and my little situation is something that I have to release, and submit my thoughts back to reality.

Life is all that we make it. It doesn't always have a cute picture to go along. And in terms of spirituality, these days have been dark. I don't think I've had lower days, but it's me. My circumstances will always be changing and life will always be throwing things at me, but me, that I can change and handle.
My kids are beautiful and they're healthy. My husband is amazing, Godly, and sweeter than anyone I've ever met. My progress isn't what I thought, but who cares. Really. Life is all what we make it.