Yes it isn't

I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long.

At first, it was intentional.

My focus was off.

I deactivated facebook and took a sabbatical from all of it.

Then, my camera cord was gone, just gone, so my sabbatical lasted longer than I intended.

But it's been good.

I knew that God was trying to teach me, but I was so distracted.

I still am, distracted.

But I have a better focus, a passion for truth.

I have to be so careful, it seems only if I blink sometimes, I lose it.

In no way have I "arrived", far from it.

But I am teachable, and God is teaching me so much.

Teaching me about prayer, about guiding my childrens' hearts with purpose,

loving in a gentle way to my husband, and being a servant to whatever God has for me.

I read a book called Follow Me by David Platt. If you read one book this year, make it this one, as I don't think I can ever be the same.

I am blessed beyond belief, and at the same time have so much responsibility.

Not just with being a mom and a wife, but because I love Jesus.

When we went through our miscarriage ordeal almost 6 months ago, I would pray daily.

That God would change me as a person, and that my family would be different.

That God would use our tender hearts, so hurt and vulnerable, to grow.

It's something I wrote down daily, I prayed daily.

I didn't know what it would mean at the time, but now I know.

Follow Him, love Him, and because of that tell others.

I will never know "why" we went through what we did.
The pain will never be gone, and neither will the hurt.

But God has answered my prayer.

To be different.

(as for the "yes, it isn't" title, that's just Micah's new favorite phrase, and I kinda adore it).