Wowza

I have a confession to make, and it's something that I'm not proud of:

I lack confidence as a parent.

I don't know why it's hard to admit, 

but it is.

I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right thing

and always knowing what I want my parenting to be.

I think it's an area that I really need to let Jesus take over.

I'm sensitive about it, and for some reason that's hard to admit.

This morning, we went to our first homeschool co-op meeting (no, these pictures aren't from there).

Again, I was lacking confidence.

It really took over me this morning, even before we left.

Just a huge overwhelming cloud of "can I do this?", "this is too big of a task?", and other things of that nature.

I left the house feeling defeated and deflated.

Feeling scared.

But I think it's my weakness, and I think Satan knows how he can bring me down.

Thankfully, Jesus is bigger, so much bigger than all of this.

I've had a family member tell me before that I'm "not a home school mom".

I'm not a planner.

And I'd ditch curriculum books any day over a pile of fabric or bottles of paint.

I swear I've gotten dumber in the last four years of my life,

and my attention span shows it.

I love distractions and I'm not disciplined.

I love fun and perimeters make me feel trapped.

I usually think about dinner twenty minutes before we're supposed to eat it, and that

is what intimidates me.

Myself.

How in the world can I, one mess of a person, teach my children an education?

But God can.

Galations 2:20 I no longer live, but the Messiah lives in me,

and the life that I am now living in this body I live by

the faithfulness of the Son of God,

who gave himself for me.

Just like my mom encouraged me this weekend,

"lay it at the feet of Jesus".

I have this desire in my heart.

This crazy desire to teach my children.

When I look at it from the feet of Jesus, looking up, it's so beautiful.