Edenisms

This little girl has been keeping us on our toes lately. They say "kids say the darndest things" and all I can think of is Eden when I hear that.
"I have a baby in my tummy; it's baby Jesus"
"Micah's little face is so chubby"
"I don't wear bulky diapers anymore"
"Santa Claus is comin to town"
"Obey God"
"Excitee for daddy comin home"
"Micah's my big sister"
"I want a mcdouble"

My Favorite Time

Ahhhh, Nap time...

And two happy rested babies

Amdist the chaos

I had to shower this morning. I could smell myself and my attitude. It seems hard, trying to find balance, trying to be a good wife, mother, and friend. I feel weak, discouraged, and unappreciated. But the world always looks a little brighter after a shower. So, I showered, but it didn't really change my outlook, it was still bleak. I sat down on the couch and looked around. Toys everywhere, furniture overturned (literally), chaos, pure chaos. I just stared. This is my life. I remembered a portion from a book I've been reading. When someone asked Mother Teresa what she prays for, she said she just listens. So, I sat here, amdist the chaos, and I listened for God. It was a beautiful moment, and the line from that song came to mind, "please let me stay and rest in your holiness". And I did.
When I looked around again, I didn't see chaos, I saw toys everywhere from my children having fun, and furniture overturned for play. I saw neglected laundry because it was more important at the time to make memories than fold it, and dirty dishes on the table because me and my daughter had to run to the (pretend) store to buy couscous.
This chaos that I saw with my bad attitude turned into a beautiful mess after I just sat in God's presence. I wish that I did this more often, but I'm learning. Everyday I try, but honestly, without God it's useless and a mess.
And so, I will choose to live among the chaos.

Learning from my daughter

Although the title of this blog is "Mother Knows Best", I feel as though this week, I know nothing. I've been impatient, frustrated, and at times just downright crabby. So, I feel that hardly gives me the title of knowing "Best". We've been repainting and redecorating our condo and I think that's the main source of my frustration. I've made our condo into a two-year-old's disaster area, and have no one but myself to blame. Sigh. Despite the hard week, I've learned so many lessons, so I do see the beauty in the disaster.
I've learned not to take parenting too seriously. Yes, it's a huge job, and a great responsibility from God, but it's fun, and there's a huge learning curve. One day my husband left late for work so I could find my focus. I took a bath, and went underwater so my ears would plug and I wouldn't be able to hear anything and yes, I found my focus there. What I do as a mom to two beautiful children is like a bright, colorful canvas. A drab color like a bad day doesn't make the canvas ugly, it makes the big picture. Those good days have a lot more beautiful colors on there than the bad ones.
My other lesson that I've really let sink in is how a two-year-old can teach forgiveness. I remember a decade ago when I read C.S. Lewis explain forgiveness. He said that it's so easy to forgive ourselves when we wrong others, we rationalize and give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Needless to say, I rarely do that for others. My daughter though, is like the perfect picture of forgiveness. When I've used tone to tell her to do something, and I apologize, she smiles at me with the sweetest glow. It's like she has no idea what a grudge is, and I envy that.