My hormonal perspective

I can't decide if I haven't felt inspiration lately 

or if its consumed me.

My energy level isn't what it normally is, 

and with a baby due in ten days, 

I'm sure it's normal.

We've had more mother-daughter and mother-son talks 

in the last month than I think we've had the whole year. 

My body is so tired, 

so sore and hurting,

 but I'm savoring the moments at hand.

Our days in the house seem so long, 

the fighting seems incessant,

tattling keeps coming though I ignore it,

Micah still jumps off everything imaginable,

and Eden thinks she's a parent.

Micah throws temper tantrums and seems to cry at everything, 

and Eden has a mouth on her that flings me into the future by ten years.

But, I'm in love.

I'm in love with Micah and will never tire of drying his tears.

And I'm in love with Eden and can't wait for her hug after she realizes she's done wrong and she goes on like nothing ever happened.

I'm relishing the moments.

Some of my last with only two kids.

Where we squeeze on the love seat and read books for an hour,

or bake something out of the blue.

I love how we do devotions in the morning 

and pray together while I hold and rub their little hands.

I love how we're close, all day.

I love how the library is part of our weekly routine

and how Eden loves pajama days.

I love how the kids look forward to their sibling

saying they want a brother one day and a sister the next.

I love how they talk about the baby

and what their little roles will be.

And I especially love to watch their face 

when I put their little hand on my tummy and they feel the movement.

Winter kind of seems like a boot camp for behavior.

We're stuck with each other, in a small space, and we learn to thrive with each other.

It seems like life is easier in the summer.

Like the sunshine puts that extra skip in our step,

and we're humming or singing to everything we do.

But this is different, 

and I know we go through it every year.

I'm not complaining, 

because it means being with two little people 

that I love uncontrollably day in and day out. 

I get to learn them better. 

And I get to study them more.

I know what will follow certain looks.

I learn new things that excite them.

I anticipate what emotions are coming,

and there's growth, all around.

This winter, so far, I've watched them become best friends.

I've watched them miss each other when one is gone for minutes,

and I've thanked God for answering that prayer.

We have our days

and we definitely have our moments.

But even the not so great moments equal up to incredible days,

because I got to see it, I got to experience it, I got to be a part of it.

And that, I wouldn't trade for anything.

Not anything in the world.

Virtues and naughtiness

Wow. It's been so long since I've blogged.

I've missed it, but it never seems to fit into the day.

Between homeschooling, and kicking things into a pile on the floor 

so I only have to bend once, I'm tired. 

I've got six more weeks of pregnancy, and I'm just struggling for normalcy every day.

I'm huge, and that's not my personal opinion, it's everyone's.

People are nice when they think you're due in the next day or two,

so that part is fine with me.

Life has been good though.

So good.

I look back on where we were last year, and my heart just swells with gratitude.

So thankful to God that we can look back and say that we grew through it all.

But onto these little ones:

Eden's maturing.

Obviously.

But it's so cool as a parent to watch things progress, to watch as thoughts sink in.

She cried at her first movie last week, and also decided she was ready to have her ears pierced.

She gives her little brother portions of her dessert because she "really wants to be nice",

and has told me lately that I'm beautiful though I feel anything but.

Today she helped Micah get on his shoes when I had no patience and just walked away, she rubbed his back and spoke kind, gentle words to him.

Teaching me and showing me how I should've responded instead of how I did.

It's amazing.

Life's not always peachy by any means, and we have our fair share of issues around here.

But the good is so abundant and I can't remember a day lately where I haven't cried tears of joy

over the blessings God has given me (yes, that's probably hormones). 

Micah's been sweet lately too.

 He's pretty emotional, and at times, it seems to get the best of him.

Today, though, I cried on the way home from the store.

We were in an aisle, I was looking for the perfect snack.

Another lady came along, ordinary from the outside. 

Lately we've been talking a lot around here about how people are beautiful no matter how we see them.

How God made every person and He made them beautiful

I never know if Micah's listening, but apparently he is.

This lady walked down the aisle, perusing just as we were.

Micah looked at her and said "You are so beautiful".

The lady looked like she might cry, and then I thought I might (those hormones, I'm telling you).

She said, "I've just had the worst day, and you made it so much better."

My heart just soared.

My little boy teaching me.

Just to keep things real though, about ten minutes earlier, he was throwing the fit of a life time.

I love it.

I'm blessed beyond anything I could've ever imagined.

I think that thought often as I hear "mommy" called out by little voices.

Micah thinks I don't have any other name than that.

I love it.

I want to remember...

...how Micah lifts up my shirt over my belly, points to my protruding belly button and asks if that's the baby's face

...how Eden concentrates when she's sounding out words to read

...that when Micah throws a full blown tantrum how he changes when you scoop him up and snuggle him and tell him how much you love him

...how Eden craves showers

...how Micah talks about his baby sibling as a girl and how he wants to be a big brother

...how Eden comes up with crazy creative situations either on paper or through acting things out

...how much I adore them and love them so much it hurts

Excuses

I'm so bad at blogging.

I guess I kinda thought that by this time of year, I'd be back on track.

Perhaps now that I've admitted it, I will be.

There's just so much to do, only little time to relax.

I guess that's just life happening.

 I need to write a post about homeschooling Eden. Two words: love it.

I'm being serious. Perhaps it was my expectations that have been exceeded, or just

watching her little brain busy at work, I don't know, but it fascinates me and it's fun.

 Micah and Eden have been best little buds lately. She gets in these little play modes where she treats him like her baby and they just laugh and laugh and laugh. 

Sometimes I'm just on the other side of the wall doing nothing but listening.

This is how I hoped it would be. I know kids go through all these stages and this one may leave before coming back again, but I'm gonna love it while it's here.

 She's so creative in everything she does. Give her a blanket, she'll make you a home; a book, she'll make up a story; tell her a story, she'll draw it out on paper. It's  just everything she does and I adore her so much.

Micah, I think if I had to pick one word to describe him, it'd be 'joy'. He's happy when it's inappropriate, happy at meal times, happy the minute he wakes up, and the minute he goes to bed. I think he's happiest though, when he's with Eden. Those two together, I tell you, it's just bliss watching them.

Here's to keeping up more this fall!

Happenings or not

life around here lately, seems busy

and this computer is hanging on by a thread

thus the sporadic and unpredictable posts

yet:

Micah jumps off everything, height is not an issue.

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Eden is like an art genius.

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 Mike still smells his socks when he unrolls them,

and yes, I'm sure he'll appreciate me sharing that.

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I've quit eating a pint of ice cream a day,

hello tons of baby weight.

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 Micah tells me probably no less than twenty times a day 

that he's going to put me in jail.

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Eden loves to write "I love you" and writes it IUO heart (I love it)

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 Mike and I are obsessed with planting trees.

Total for this summer: 9.

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I'm in week 22 of pregnancy.

WAHOOOOOO!

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Eden and Micah have started doing chores.

Another woo to the hoo.

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I started meal planning and it's going quite well, thank you.

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Micah walks around the house clapping and today told me he loved my coldness.

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I wish I had a pint of ice cream right now.

A big first for Eden

Last night, moments before I went to bed, Eden was squealing with delight in bed thinking of her first day of homeschool kindergarten. It made my heart sing.

Tonight, I'm ready for bed, anxious to lay down and almost headed up the stairs. But there's something about those moments when they're written down fresh. I don't want to forget, and perhaps if I write them they'll stay fresh for just a little longer in my mind.

 A few months ago, Eden and I were going through a phase. I hesitate to say it was her, because there is always something I can do as a parent, better. I remember praying every night, wondering how on earth we'd go through this homeschool thing. I didn't understand how it would work. 

Prayer answered.

Eden and I began having long talks, deep talks, and coming to a better understanding with each other. It wasn't a long phase, but it was a hard one. And I remember being desperate.

Desperate to have that closeness with her again and just have fun instead of opposition.

Prayer answered.

 I'm an emotional person to begin with, so when Eden and I started off our little morning with prayer, I cried. Definitely tears of joy, relief, and so thankful for this 

beautiful little girl that is my best little girlfriend.

She called her daddy right after school, told him everything she learned.

She was so teachable.

Prayer answered.

My heart is so full.

And I'm so happy that I can look back and see those prayers definitely answered.

Little moments

I've been thinking a lot lately

just about how summer's nearly over

wishing that perhaps we'd done something big

take a trip

have an adventure

but then I got to thinking

we had a really good summer

made up of so many rich little moments

I loved it

and I wouldn't trade it for a trip or an adventure

they're so happy being home

with such simple pleasures

I know it won't last forever

and soon they won't be as easy to please

a few weeks ago Mike took Micah down the big slide at State Fair

he was all smiles and me and Eden loved watching

but as soon as he realized it was over

he wasn't thrilled

he actually threw a fit

it must have been quite the thrill

then there was the moment at the fair where I just had a moment of my own

such gifts

as hard and difficult as they sometimes make something

they make life so beautiful

enchanting at times

 then I saw this picture

and I almost ran upstairs with a scissors

thinking I'd just cut his hair in his sleep

then I realized it's Eden's hair

and she's just sitting next to him

phew

I was so scared that I could be that oblivious

these little moments though

they're just everywhere

in nearly every picture that I look back on

there they are

I'm in awe

thrilled

and so glad that I'm not the only one that thinks so